What to Expect

Monday was our first "Pilates for Better Sex" class. Many women told me they were interested but a little nervous to come by themselves. Here is a sneak peak into last week's class. If you're on the fence about joining us, I hope this encourages you to come!

“This is the first thing I’ve looked forward to in a long time” she had tears in her eyes. She was almost swaying side to side to console herself in her talking. “I’ve had nothing to look forward to. I can’t tell you how excited I am to take your sex class!”

Ok well it’s not a sex class per se, but I’m not going to interrupt her. She’s telling an important part of her story.

Still appearing anxious, I told her how excited I was to see her. Workout clothes, lipstick and all. She threw her arms up, “can I give you a hug?”

Of course! We shared a hug that felt important and validating. A moment of connection between two women supporting each other.

She backed up and smiled at me. Alright then, “where is this class?”

I walked around the sidewalk and showed her the way inside the building.

There’s a beautiful courtyard entrance, I really don’t know how to describe it. A gate, palm trees and other beautiful Florida plants decorate this area.

We are on the second floor of a historic building. You can feel all the creative vibes as you walk into the building. It’s easy to imagine all the people who’ve been here, and wonder about everything that might have happened here.

We walk in the studio door on the second floor.

I am honored to welcome four students, all of whom have followed me from other studios. I thanked them for experimenting and for recognizing the value of this new class, Pilates for Better Sex.

Nobody really knows each other but two students recognize each other after a few minutes from taking a chair dance class with me together a few months ago.

I explain that this is a class full of female fitness, things that all women should know about the way our bodies work. Just as if you go to the gym with a general idea of how you may want to lose weight, I want all women to have a general idea of what they can do if they want to address their pelvic floor.

I’m not a doctor or a physical therapist. I can’t diagnose or treat disorders. My class is not for specific conditions. This is a wellness class and if you have specific questions, please talk with your doctor.

Pelvic floor health is such a hushed topic. 1 of 2 gyne visits is for pelvic pain, and 50% of that pain goes unresolved. Women in pain are offered surgery, pelvic floor therapy or told to just deal with it. That’s unacceptable to me.

If this was a mens’ issue, there would be a blue pill for it and you could get it discreetly on several medical websites….but I digress.

Anyway, I’ve spent 20 years of my life working in fitness and in healthcare. I’ve experienced pelvic floor issues after some surgeries myself. I’ve navigated some of these avenues and felt these same struggles.

Women shouldn’t be told it’s normal to pee when we laugh. Because it’s not normal.

Pain after sex shouldn’t be something we just deal with. There are things we can do.

So I explain this, to these brave women in class. We’ve already formed a quiet friendship and I am honored to share this class with them.

We start with a deep breathing technique that helps to relax the pelvic floor. This is something all women should know. I’ll make a video of this because it’s too hard to share in writing.

Then we move to functional stretches. Nothing fancy, but these exercises target all the areas of the body that affect the pelvic floor. I hear, “Wow, I didn’t realize I was tight there”. I smile and say, “now let’s do the other side and see how you feel”

I envisioned exercising mostly on them floor but a few ladies tell me that bothers their knees. I thank them for the feedback, for saying something.

As women, society tells us to accommodate everyone at our own cost. Be quiet, stay small, and just do what everyone else needs you to do. Your needs come last and actually you don’t have any needs anyway 🤣 have you ever felt that way? I know I have and it’s my passion now to empower women to speak up for themselves.

I look at my notes. We can do all these exercises standing. Everybody moves around a little bit to make enough space and we use the wall like a ballet barre.

This is why I love group fitness. Teach for so long, I can make quick adjustments to the class plan so that everyone gets what they need.

I demonstrate how being closer to the wall may be easier to start. You can back up and lean forward, using your core more. You can also “go on your toes” (releve) for a more challenging experience. Everyone is working at their own level. I get another wow moment: “wow, this exercise feels really good” it’s rainbow, and it’s one of my favorites. I’ll make a video of that for you guys too!

Ok, so by now we’ve done our deep breathing meditation. We’ve done our targeted stretches and Pilates exercises. What’s next?

This is a root chakra class, for those of you who understand energy. So how would you end this class?

If you said sensual dancing, you’re right! We review a few fun, sexy dance moves, try both sides. I show several variations. I sense some shyness and encourage everyone to do what feels right for them.

I play one song and tell everyone to do whatever they want. Feel the music. Feel your body. Close your eyes. I’ll keep demonstrating these moves so you don’t forget them. This is your workout. Your time. Your space. Honor what feels right to you.

And that’s a wrap!

One student says “I’m definitely going to feel this tomorrow, thanks!”

Another tells me she’s going to miss a few weeks but cannot wait until her next class. “Save my spot!”, she tells me.

And yet a third tells me how she is going to use this information in her own classes, to help her students.

Boom! This is what it’s all about. Helping each other. Smiling. Enjoying life. Connecting with our bodies. Loving ourselves right now.

If you’ve made it this far, I invite you to join me next week! Let’s change the way we see and relate to our bodies, one class at a time. You are important. And your fitness is important...

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